iPont Shuffle - Life is Random

The Scariest Pumpkin of All

2011-11-05T11:31:00.000-04:00

This Magical Pumpkin fills me with dread. Whenever I see it, my wallet gets lighter.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Magic Kingdom, Orlando, FL

Okay, I lied

2011-08-09T02:24:00.000-04:00

So way back here, I said that I probably wouldn't appear in any of the pictures in this blog after that first one. So I lied. This is my third triumphant appearance, labeled with my trusty sparkler in case there was any question about my identity.

Yeah yeah, I know. This would have been a good post for Father's Day and I'm about two months late. Sorry, but inspiration runs on its own schedule.

Camera: Nikon D70s

What Just Happened?

2011-07-23T10:30:00.002-04:00

Let's play a game and imagine what happened about 8 seconds before this picture was taken. Almost everyone can play because almost everyone has a picture like this. Well, anyone who has a sibling does.

The obvious possibilities:

The older brother stepped on the younger brother's toe.
The older brother threw the younger brother's favorite rock into the water.
The older brother said the younger brother's shirt was ugly.
The older brother said that if the younger brother smiled, it would break Daddy's camera lens.

Boy is the older brother going to be sorry when the younger brother turns out to be bigger than he is. And takes up wrestling. And gets all of the girlfriends.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Duck, NC

The Shuttle Program Ends

2011-07-20T02:12:00.001-04:00

It's funny how you have no idea of the scale of some things. The Space Shuttles fall into this category. You know intellectually that a rocket is a pretty big thing, but you don't really appreciate the size until you stand next to one.

Douglas Adams (of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fame) said it best:

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: U.S. Space & Rocket Center, Huntsville, AL

Name That Flower

2011-01-09T23:38:00.000-05:00

I generally don't know my hydrangia from my hyacinth. I see a pretty flower, take a picture of it, and the story usually ends there. But some people can look at a flower and rattle off multiple syllables in Latin, so I got curious. It only took me about twenty minutes of surfing the Internets to find out that this flower is a Hibiscus. This discovery was not accompanied by any great feeling of accomplishment, so my next flower picture will be described as "pretty [insert color here] flower".

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL

That's No Moon...

2010-12-28T00:27:00.000-05:00

Oh wait, that is the moon. Sorry. Too much Star Wars on the brain.

Watch the first two Robot Chicken Star Wars episodes online while they last.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Medium-Rare, I Said!

2010-12-08T22:16:00.000-05:00

One of the joys of parenthood is that if you don't screw things up too badly in the early years, you can eventually start handing over some of your chores. Don't really care for mowing the lawn? There is probably an 11-year-old who will be happy to do it. And if that 11-year-old happens to live in your house, you just hired yourself a free landscaping service. The same goes for grilling up some burgers, taking out the garbage, washing the windows, and cleaning the gutters. Now I finally understand why my parents never kicked me out.

Camera: Nikon D70s Location: Duck, NC

Not So Amusing

2010-06-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

Like every kid, I loved amusement parks when I was little. They used to be all over the place -- Adventurer's Inn in Flushing, Rockaway Playland, Rye Playland. Well, Adventurer's Inn got condemned and Rockaway Playland closed. I guess I'm old now because I can't even watch my kids on a "spinny" ride without feeling a little queasy. So now I have to find other things to occupy myself while the kids are off having fun. When did amusement parks stop being amusing?

Camera: Nikon D70s Location: Metro NY Balloon & Music Festival, Brookhaven, NY

Following Directions

2010-05-24T23:32:00.000-04:00

Usually, I can "direct" until I'm blue in the face, but the children will go along doing what they're doing, happily ignoring me. Once in a while, though, when the planets are aligned just so, they will both cooperate. Maybe they're just taking pity on the old man. That's okay -- beggars can't be choosers.

Stand like this. Move your head a little more towards your brother. Stop fidgeting. Smile more. Nope, too much. Now pretend you like each other.

Camera: Nikon D70s

Splash

2010-04-22T23:58:00.000-04:00

Now I understand the allure of a beach house. It makes it very convenient to spend all of your time at the beach. There are two things that I can sit and watch for hours -- a roaring fire and the surf in the ocean. Ah, the best of both worlds -- a bonfire at the beach.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Outer Banks, North Carolina

Let Sleeping Tigers Lie

2010-01-08T00:57:00.002-05:00

Not lay. You would never say, "Let sleeping tigers lay". Well, you might say that, but you would be grammatically incorrect. "Lay" is a verb meaning "to put". You can lay a blanket on a bed. You can lay a section of pipe. You can even lay your hands on someone. But you cannot lay down. "Lay" doesn't work that way, irregardless^* of what you were taught.

In the spirit of completeness, I should mention that "lay" is also the past tense of the verb "to lie", so it is correct to say, "He lay down yesterday", but that just makes things more complicated. Who designed this language anyway?

^*I meant to do that.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Location, location, location

2009-12-03T21:25:00.003-05:00

Sometimes it's the food that makes a great dinner. Somestimes it's the wine. Sometimes it's the company. And sometimes, it's just where you happen to be that makes it memorable. With this kind of view, you could serve pretty much anything and I would probably remember it fondly.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Cockroaches Are Not Cute

2009-11-09T23:35:00.001-05:00

This is a picture of an eight-year-old boy holding a cockroach -- A Huge Frickin' Cockroach. (That sounds even better if you say it with a Scottish accent, but then again, what doesn't?) I was eight years old once, many moons ago, and I don't remember a time then or now when I would have held a huge Madagascar hissing cockroach in my hand. Not long ago, I would have freaked out just knowing these things existed, and there's my son calmly holding one in his hand looking like he wants to pet it. If I weren't so grossed out by the possibility of splatter, I would have stepped on the damn thing.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: New York City, NY

Meeting John Glenn

2009-07-27T00:46:00.002-04:00

This week was the 40th anniversary of the Apollo moon landing (for those of you who
believe that that actually happened). This week, we also celebrated the 88th birthday of John Glenn, the first American to orbit the Earth (some 7 years before Neil Armstrong blasted off).

I had the honor of meeting Senator Glenn at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. He turned out to be one of the most gracious people I've ever met (and sharp as a tack, too). In this picture, he is pointing out a few interesting details of his Friendship 7 capsule to my 10-year-old son. This was an immensely cool situation that I hope my son can appreciate when he gets older.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Washington, DC

Types of Drunks

2009-06-21T23:27:00.002-04:00

Working in bars for the last umpteen years, I've run into my share of drunks and they tend to fall into a few categories. There are the happy drunks, the mean drunks, the obnoxious drunks, and the show-off drunks. There are the drunks who actually get better at pool, darts, and foosball the more they drink. There are the drunks who think that they sing or play guitar better the more they drink, despite the painful reality.

And then, there are the drunks that just quietly fall asleep at the table and wait for someone to carry them home.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

This is My Backyard

2009-04-12T11:53:00.001-04:00

Well, no it's not. But I'm planning for the future. I've heard that your own personal island can be purchased for a modest price. One day, I would like to get out of bed, look out my kitchen window and see this. And then I would wonder who the nice man is who is sitting under my umbrella. Smithers, release the hounds.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Those Bleeping Games

2009-03-02T21:35:00.001-05:00

No, I wasn't censoring myself. If you look closely, you will notice that there is not an electronic gizmo in sight. Here we see a boy having fun with a game that has no batteries (Etch-a-Sketch to be exact). I won't mention that two minutes after this picture was taken, he was playing a Wii game with one hand, logging into his Webkinz account with the other, and listening to an iPod. Let's just enjoy the moment.

So Happy Together

2009-01-30T00:36:00.002-05:00

Remember those carefree days down at the soda shop when you could share a malted and some licorice whips with your best girl? No, me either. When my time came around, it was arcade games and pizza. For my kids, it will probably be something completely different. That's if they can fit girls somewhere between appointments at baseball, soccer, lacrosse, band, and taekwondo.

Camera: Nikon D70s

Sometimes, you just have to say...

2009-01-06T22:33:00.001-05:00

Okay, okay. The name of this city is actually pronounced "Poo-KET", but don't tell me you weren't thinking something else for a very brief moment.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Oh Christmas Tree

2008-12-21T20:42:00.003-05:00

Some people have normal Christmas trees with tinsel and glass balls. My tree is covered in Star Wars and Disney paraphernalia. And a good number of the ornaments light up and/or make noise. Lucy was right -- "We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It's run by a big eastern syndicate, you know."

Two of a Kind

2008-12-14T22:26:00.002-05:00

They say that after a while, married couples start to look alike.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Oyster Bay, NY

Okay, So I'm Competitive

2008-11-05T19:57:00.001-05:00

A nice Pennsylvania family vacation. You'd think that we could just visit Chocolate World, go on a few rides at HersheyPark, and that would be it. But no. We had to stop at the go karts. I can't get into one of these things without doing everything I can to win. It makes me feel a little bit like Dick Dastardly. And look, there's my side-kick, Muttley.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Hershey, PA

Moving

2008-10-20T12:14:00.003-04:00

Sorry, no wonderful picture or insightful text this time. Just a note to tell you that the iPont Shuffle has moved to a new address.

www.ipontshuffle.com

If you subscribe to the RSS feed, you will have to update that as well.

Thumbs Up

2008-10-18T00:05:00.002-04:00

These are the secret signs for the big soccer game. I'll translate for those of you who have never watched five-year-olds play soccer.

One thumb up: I'll stay over here looking cute. You act like you're not interested in the game and don't know where the ball is.
Two thumbs up: Okay. Try not to get kicked in the shins.

For Marni

2008-09-17T23:07:00.004-04:00

Okay, so I did it. I went to my first Rick Springfield concert. It was kind of hard to avoid. He was in town, and it was outdoors on a nice summer night, and it wasn't too expensive, and my 9-year-old son is a huge fan. So I did it. I saw him work the crowd. I saw the somewhat overly devoted fans. I saw him smash the roses on his guitar.

He looks pretty good for 82 and the show wasn't terrible.

Location: Planting Fields Arboretum, Oyster Bay, NY

Who Does the Kid Look Like - Part III

2008-08-14T22:47:00.005-04:00

Apparently, the red head has the kind of face where he always reminds you of someone. We've already seen that here and here. Since this is a recurring theme, I decided to make a series out of it. So without further ado, here is the third in our series, where we have a comparison to Dark Helmet from Space Balls.

Dressing Up

2008-07-27T23:33:00.004-04:00

I am normally not a big fan of putting little boys in shoes, dress shirts, and ties. Little girls can get an early jump on the whole "girly experience" wearing dresses and patent leather shoes. I'm sure that serves them well later in life. Little boys, however, just look and feel dorky and uncomfortable when they dress up. The only times a man should wear a tie is at a wedding, a funeral, or at a job where someone is paying him to wear it.

This is one instance where I will admit that I was wrong. Firstly, the kids above, when dressed up, take on entirely new looks and personalities. Secondly, it wasn't until the red head put on that tie that I noticed the resemblance to Oliver Hardy.

The Good Seats - Part IV

2008-06-15T23:08:00.003-04:00

There are advantages to being a relief pitcher. Sure, the starting pitchers get all the girls and they get the big bucks and they only have to work about once a week. But the relief pitchers get to hang out in the bullpen away from the manager and coaches. They get to sit in the sun and watch baseball games. And you can't really see it from this picture, but there is a keg of beer and a hibachi setup behind the seats.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Flushing, NY

The Good Seats - Part III

2008-06-02T22:05:00.004-04:00

How would you like to be this guy's mother? Now, he gets paid (quite a lot) to play with his friends and get dirty and bruised, but when he was growing up, he did it for free and had nothing to show for it but ripped, dirty clothing and an angry mom.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Flushing, NY

The Good Seats - Part II

2008-05-21T00:42:00.004-04:00

Here we have David Wright walking with coach Howard Johnson. Howard Johnson was a big deal for the Mets back in the late 80's when they were serious contenders every year. Having turned 42 myself recently, it is somewhat gratifying to see that even great baseball players can get fat when they get older. Another positive for me is to see that even great baseball players, while they are still young, rich, good looking, and single, can get a haircut that will make them say, "I can't believe I fell asleep in the barber's chair again."

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Flushing, NY

The Good Seats - Part I

2008-05-04T22:52:00.006-04:00

I am a baseball fan. I was a baseball fan when I was a kid and I still am today (with a short hiatus in the middle). I have seen a bunch of Mets games at Shea stadium in the last few years, and I usually have the kind of seats that you would expect a casual fan to have. When you're talking about a contending team like the Mets, that translates to "the nose bleeds". So last season, I decided to splurge. I figured that I would only be going to one game for the whole season, so I bought tickets second hand, paid an arm and a leg, and wound up with the best baseball seats that I have ever had. I don't know if I would ever pay that much for tickets again, but it definitely got me some good photo ops.

This is pitcher John Maine and pitching coach Rick Peterson walking in from the bullpen to start the game.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Flushing, NY

How Old is "Old Enough" for a Tattoo?

2008-03-30T22:08:00.004-04:00

So is this the kid that's going to come home one day with a ring in his nose and a biker-chick girlfriend on his arm? I suppose that if the nose ring comes with his mother's birth stone, Mom will say it's okay, just like she did with this "Mom" tattoo.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL

Doesn't This Make You Want to be Somewhere Tropical?

2008-02-23T16:34:00.003-05:00

Forget that the actual environment where this picture was taken was nowhere near the tropics. It wasn't even outdoors. Nevertheless, it still makes me want to get on a plane (as much fun as that can be) and go to a place that has flowers and waterfalls. I'll worry about the authenticity later.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Walt Disney World, FL

Some People Just Know How to Wear a Hat

2008-01-23T01:59:00.002-05:00

Disney World has a bunch of cool things to do when you're not visiting the parks. One of them is a cooking class for kids. The space is limited, so you have to sign up way in advance. I assumed that the kids would be measuring ingredients, mixing cookie dough, shaping cookies, etc. When I asked the boys what they did, they said that (besides decorating their aprons) they put sprinkles on the cookies. Yup. That's it. Thirty-something bucks a piece and two hours and they put sprinkles on. If they hadn't come out looking so cute (the boys, not the cookies), Mickey and I might have exchanged words.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Walt Disney World, FL

What I Wouldn't Do for a Couple of Zip-Ties...

2008-01-11T23:43:00.002-05:00

There are some moments in life that are just a little too tempting. As much as I love my children, I think every parent has one or two moments when they would like to lock their little angel in the stocks and yell, "Okay, see you tomorrow!" while walking away. Alas, Child Protective Services frowns on that sort of hands-off parenting, so I guess I'll have to stick with taking away the video games when things go awry at home.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Walt Disney World, FL

Celebration

2007-12-21T00:01:00.002-05:00

They all said I wouldn't make it. They all said it couldn't be done. But here it is, my 100th blog entry. I originally started this blog just so I could keep some of my favorite pictures in one place. I don't print many pictures anymore (that's so twentieth century); I made a coffee table book for myself but I no longer have a coffee table on which to put it; and that wall-mounted 2x3 foot electronic picture frame is still a few years away. So for now, I will continue to use this blog as my digital shoebox.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Walt Disney World, FL

One Big Happy Family

2007-12-05T18:35:00.003-05:00

For anyone that didn't see our family Christmas card from last year (oh crud, now people are going to start wondering why they didn't get a Christmas card last year), here it is. I was so proud of how it came out that I had to share it with as many people as possible. I was not only proud of my Photoshopping skills (the light sabers were added in post-production), but also of my boys, who were able to pose correctly while pretending to hold weapons in their hands, all while being glared at by the bad guys. I know you can't see them glaring under their masks, but trust me, they were glaring.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Walt Disney World, FL

Summer Is Over Already?

2007-11-14T22:31:00.002-05:00

Yes, I know that this is a familiar refrain for my regular readers. Both of you. But it's pictures like this and thoughts of warmer days that keep me going through the long winter. (I used to love winter when I was younger -- really I did...)

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL

It's Amazing What a Professional Can Do

2007-11-02T22:21:00.002-04:00

I have several talents. Gardening does not number among them. While some people can take a bush and turn it into a recognizable cartoon character, my bushes walk all over me. I'm just hoping that I don't have "that house". You know, the house in the neighborhood that everybody drives by and points (and not in a good way).

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Walt Disney World, FL

Biggest Pumpkin Wins

2007-10-16T22:28:00.003-04:00

For some people, everything is a competition. In my house, some of the phrases you will hear quite often are:

Last one is a rotten egg
Second one in the car wins (usually spoken by the second one in the car)
First one is a rotten egg because today is "opposite day" (also spoken by the second)

I guess this must have been "Biggest Pumpkin Wins" day and the red head wasn't going to let anything stand between him and victory.

Just Pucker Up and Blow

2007-10-06T00:13:00.002-04:00

That phrase is supposed to refer to whistling, but I suppose trumpet playing can be considered a close second. I play piano, which has 88 keys. How do you make all those notes on the trumpet with only three stinkin' buttons and a spit valve?

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Northport, NY

A New Hero?

2007-09-09T22:41:00.002-04:00

I assure you that this photo has not been doctored by me in any way. If you look at it closely, you might notice that the red head is floating about three inches above the ground. That was weird enough, but then I thought that he was also not casting a shadow. This led me to one of the following conclusions:

I am such an amazing photographer that my subjects appear to be standing in mid-air.
Luke is a Hero
Luke is a vampire.

I am discounting number 1, and the missing shadow turned out to be my mistake (it is in the picture), so that eliminates number 3. That leaves number 2. Maybe he'll get to save the cheerleader.

A Long Way Down

2007-08-26T22:55:00.002-04:00

A few years ago, I decided that I was too old for things like this. I used to love the whip-you-around-and-scramble-your-brains rides, but at this point in my life, I sometimes get a little nauseous when going through a revolving door. While my days of flying down almost 90-degree inclines are done, I'm sure my kids are eventually going to want to do it. I just hope they don't ask me to go with them.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Hershey, PA

Curse You Red Baron!

2007-08-15T21:12:00.002-04:00

Just like adults, some kids just watch life go by and some are ready at a moment's notice to hop into their Sopwith Camels and head off into battle. I'll let you guess which category the red head falls into.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Hershey, PA

Chocolate Love

2007-07-31T22:17:00.002-04:00

I don't think I was supposed to see this. I was playing paparazzi and caught these two young stars making out in the corner. They weren't too happy about being caught, either. Let me tell you, it's no fun being chased by a bunch of angry Milk Duds (they were hired as security). After seeing these two, I wondered -- is this where Reese's Pieces come from?

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Hershey, PA

Birthdays

2007-06-28T22:43:00.002-04:00

Some pictures caption themselves. Now if only I could figure out how to get my office work to do itself...

Playtime

2007-06-20T23:36:00.002-04:00

Isn't it great how kids play together? You just get a few kids, give them a ball or a stick or a box and off they go. Such imagination; such creativity; such interaction. It boggles the mind.

Bring on the Fighters

2007-06-08T23:56:00.003-04:00

So after the measly, little propeller planes did their thing, the big, burly fighter jets came in to do theirs. I'm not sure what it takes to fly one of these monsters, much less fly them in tight formations with their wings almost touching, but whatever it is, I don't have it. I'm as manly as your average American male, but if these guys ever ran low on jet fuel, they could probably just mix in some of their excess testosterone and keep going for few hundred extra miles.

Oh, and for Thunderbird #4, I would now like to give you the finger for flying about 20 feet over my head at Mach 27*. F-16's are kind of loud and have been known to make small children (like my son) cry.

* Note: The plane was not really flying at Mach 27, since the FAA has banned supersonic flight over the continental United States.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Jones Beach, NY

It's a Bird, It's a Plane

2007-05-31T23:09:00.003-04:00

I only took pictures of the planes, not the birds. I went to an air show at Jones Beach, which is now an annual event on Memorial Day weekend and I saw a lot of displays like this. There were propeller planes doing all sorts of stunts, like steep climbs, dives, stalls, and corkscrews. These pilots are obviously very talented and they are there to put on a show, but as performers, they miss out on any kind of reaction from their audience. Most performers feed off of the energy of their audience, but with these guys, it's just "do your job and go home". I suppose the pilots could buzz the crowd^* to see if they were clapping or smiling, but that might just scare people off.

^*If you don't know what "buzzing the crowd" is, please go watch Top Gun with Tom Cruise. Normally I wouldn't recommend a Tom Cruise movie because I think he's a jackass, but maybe he made that movie before he became a jackass. If you can watch it with a pilot (or someone who used to be in the Navy), it's even better.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Jones Beach, NY

Moving On

2007-05-15T22:51:00.002-04:00

At the end of March, I celebrated my twelfth anniversary of employment with Nikon. At the end of April, I celebrated my departure from Nikon. Everybody keeps telling me that the change will be good for me. I'll have to take their word for it because I'm still a little uneasy. Nikon was a great place to work and I met a lot of nice people there. Just as importantly, Nikon is also where I got bit by the photo bug. (Normally, bugs are a "bad thing" for software developers, but this is the good kind of bug.) I love taking pictures and I now look at the world with a different eye than I did before my rendezvous with Nikon. I also love my D70s.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Melville, NY

Chocolate World

2007-04-02T11:12:00.003-04:00

Wouldn't you like to live in a place called Chocolate World? This brings to mind Homer Simpson's trip to the magical Land of Chocolate:

In Chocolate World (which is actually a real place in Hershey, PA), they have the "Hershey's Chocolate World" song playing all day, and it goes something like this:

Hershey's chocolate, Hershey's chocolate,
Hershey's Chocolate World,
Wherever you go, near or far,
You're always near a Hershey Bar.
Hershey's chocolate, real milk chocolate,
Hershey's -- the great American chocolate bar.

Repeat ad infinitum.

The chocolate is good, but the song will drive you nuts (no pun intended).

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Hershey, PA

Does this mean my son is a Republican?

2007-04-02T11:11:00.002-04:00

Not that I really care about his political affiliation. Just wondering, s'all. My son can grow up to be anything he wants. Anything, that is, except a lawyer. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Playing Catch with Endy

2007-03-27T15:01:00.004-04:00

Not everybody gets to have a catch with Endy Chavez of the New York Mets, but yup, that's my boy out there in the outfield at Shea Stadium. Way cool. The worst part was that it was the father that really wanted to be on the field. The son was somewhat ambivalent about the whole thing.

Camera: Nikon D2X
Location: Shea Stadium, Flushing, NY

Where Does One Find Blue Raspberries?

2007-03-19T10:36:00.002-04:00

According to George Carlin, there is no true blue food. And the last time I saw a raspberry bush, the berries were red. My best guess is that someone with too much time on his hands decided that red raspberries were just too "yesterday" and needed a push into the twenty-first century.

Next up for discussion: pink lemonade.

More Icy Goodness

2007-03-12T15:11:00.002-04:00

In the second part of my series, "Why Can't the Rest of the World Be More Like the Bahamas?", we will discuss this poor specimen. Being encased in ice can't be a lot of fun. Imagine that you are this tree. Then imagine that you (as the tree) have a nose. Now imagine that it itches.

Camera: Nikon D200
Location:

It's not always sunny and warm

2007-03-05T12:06:00.002-05:00

Some of my more outspoken readers (okay, you can take the "s" off that last word) have expressed some concern at the lack of winter-weather pictures that I feature. Well, maybe I do subconsciously avoid "cold" pictures. I think I have made it clear that I am not happy until the mercury hits at least 75° F. Living in New York, however, I do have abundant opportunity to catch the less-tropical side of life. This was taken after a recent ice storm.

Camera: Nikon D70s

You Have to Start Young

2007-02-12T16:05:00.002-05:00

Everybody knows that the musicians and the jocks get all of the girls in school. Well, there are no jock genes coming from my side of the family, so I'm counting on those musician genes. And it's never to early to try to give those genes a helping hand.

Where have all the flowers gone?

2007-02-05T13:45:00.002-05:00

It was 12° Fahrenheit this morning. That's -11° Celsius if you were wondering. That's about 70° F (21° C) colder than I would like it to be. Where is global warming when you need it?

Camera: Nikon D70s

What's wrong with a little flag waving?

2007-01-29T10:21:00.002-05:00

Camera: Nikon D70s

Mirror, Mirror

2007-01-15T14:19:00.002-05:00

I have a lot of respect for people that can draw (probably because I can't). I am amazed at the amount of effort it takes to create a likeness of someone using a pencil. All I do is press a button on my camera. At least when drawing by hand, you don't get a picture of someone with their eyes half-closed (unless you want to).

Camera: Nikon D70s

How to Pick Up Girls

2007-01-08T10:39:00.002-05:00

Okay, someone is going to have to tell my boy that this is NOT the way to pick up girls. If you look closely, you will see the facial expression on the target of my boy's affection. It is completely passive and uninterested. Ah, that takes me back -- to when I used to try to pick up girls. It didn't work for me either.

Happy Holidays

2006-12-18T15:33:00.002-05:00

This will probably be my last post of 2006, so I'll send my best wishes to all of my readers (yes, all three of you (sorry to steal your joke, Doug, but it's really true in my case (and also sorry for all of the parentheses))) for a Happy Festivus. Let the Airing of Grievances begin!

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Disney World, FL

Do Jedi Go Trick or Treating?

2006-11-20T10:00:00.002-05:00

In the last of our Halloween series, we again see young Darth Vader. The paparazzi caught up with the pint-sized Dark Lord while he was vacationing on the forest moon of Endor with his childhood sweetheart and his good friends, the Ewoks. Historians think that this was a turning point in Vader's life. They knew that he was upset at being disturbed during his vacation, but they didn't link him to the photographer with the crushed trachea until much later.

Halloween's Not Over Yet

2006-11-13T14:10:00.002-05:00

Contrary to popular belief, Darth Vader wasn't always the towering figure that he is usually believed to have been. The deep voice and the ability to choke people with the Force made him appear quite formidable, but back in his younger days, he was actually a bit below average. Here we see the young Dark Lord at recess with Leia Organa. They were good friends until that ugly incident involving a peanut butter sandwich and a trash compactor.

Ooh, Scary

2006-11-07T11:04:00.002-05:00

Some people decorate their houses for Halloween. Some people even go a bit overboard in that endeavor. (You know who you are.) I prefer a little more subtlety. I'm happy if I get one good jack-o-lantern out of the deal. Aaargh.

Pumpkin design by Jackie. Copyright 2006. All rights reserved. No part of this pumpkin may be reproduced or transmitted without the express written consent of iPont Shuffle Enterprises.

Camera: Nikon D70s

There's Always One Kid Who Can't Wait

2006-10-30T10:40:00.002-05:00

You try to take a nice picture of the kiddies and somebody can't put his apple down for two seconds. Sheesh.

This is last year's picture. We apparently missed this year's apple-picking season. Since apple-picking season is always followed closely by apple-pie-baking season, this is a problem. We'll have to find out when buy-some-apples-at-the-supermarket season begins.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: Fort Salonga, New York (duh!)

Fountains of Paradise

2006-10-24T14:01:00.002-04:00

A nice title for a picture. It's also the title of a good book by Arthur C. Clarke.

Camera: Nikon D70s
Location: Heckscher Park, New York

Ride 'em Cowboy

2006-10-16T10:37:00.002-04:00

I have never really understood the attraction of the hobby horse. It's a horse head on a stick. It sounds more like something you might use as a punishment rather than a toy. "Eat those vegetables or you'll be playing with nothing but the hobby horse tomorrow!"

A Rose by Any Other Name

2006-10-09T17:59:00.002-04:00

...would probably be called a marigold.

Camera: Nikon D2X
Location: Long Island, NY

Boxed Merchandise

2006-10-03T14:35:00.002-04:00

These are not in the sizes or colors that I ordered. How to I go about returning them?

It Ain't New York

2006-09-25T11:50:00.004-04:00

Any time I'm in another city, I invariably see a skyline and compare it to the New York City skyline. The New York City version is always much more impressive to me, but maybe that's because I grew up with it. I've noticed the same thing with food. If you ask a New Yorker where the best pizza or Chinese food is, it is usually right near where they grew up.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Rock'em Sock'em

2006-09-18T11:37:00.002-04:00

I remember being in the same position about 35 years earlier. Sheesh. How's that for putting things in perspective?

Gilligan's Island

2006-08-29T11:36:00.002-04:00

This shot reminds me of Gilligan's Island. Just pretend that those little hut things are made of coconut leaves. Oh look, there's Mary Ann carrying a bucket of water. Mmmmm. Mary Ann.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL

Artsy

2006-08-04T16:24:00.002-04:00

This is about the limit of my creativity when it comes to still-life photography. The peppers were grown, arranged, and photographed by me. I'm more comfortable when I can just come in and take a picture of something that somebody else already set up.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: My Backyard

Sprinkled

2006-07-24T14:47:00.003-04:00

(or should that be "sprinklered"?)

We already saw one boy getting drenched with the hose. Here's the other one.

Don't Ask Me

2006-07-17T13:58:00.002-04:00

I don't know what this thing is. All I know is that it is some kind of plant and it caught my attention. Shiny things and red things seem to have that affect on me. Now show me something that is shiny and red and I start talking like Goofy -- "Gawsh, that shore is purty. I should take some pictures of it with this camera-thingy."

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: San Diego, CA

It's Not Easy Bein' Green

2006-07-05T16:03:00.002-04:00

I suppose this text should accompany a picture of a frog, but I don't have any pictures of those (yet).

Camera: Nikon D1H
Location: Palm Beach Zoo in West Palm Beach, Florida

Splish Splash

2006-06-26T15:00:00.002-04:00

I remember playing with the hose in the backyard being one of my favorite summer past times when I was just a lad. I loved to make shapes with the water, make rivers, dig holes in the dirt, spray for distance. I'm happy to see that the genes have been passed on.

Camera: Nikon D70

Meet the Mets

2006-06-19T15:51:00.003-04:00

I've always been a NY Mets fan. I grew up in Queens, just a bus ride away from Shea Stadium and spent plenty of summer afternoons there. It's just as much fun (if not more expensive) to watch the team now. And with the way they have been playing lately, you don't automatically get ridiculed just by wearing a Mets shirt or cap in public. Yes, Mets fans can hold their heads high again. As my son says, very matter-of-factly, "Yankees... boo.". I concur.

Camera: Nikon D2X
Location: Flushing, NY

Not at Home

2006-06-12T10:24:00.003-04:00

There are some kinds of flowers that I never see in New York. Maybe I'm not looking closely enough. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places. Maybe it's that whole period that we have between November and March, when most of the plants say, "Hey, what's with the cold weather? I'm outta here. Let me know when the sun comes back.". I can't say I blame them.

Here's another one.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: San Diego, CA

Gardening

2006-05-30T15:06:00.002-04:00

I remember very clearly how much I hated preparing and planting the vegetable garden that my father planned every year. So it is with an appropriate amount of irony that I, too, will force my children to help me plant mine. So far, they don't mind much, and to be honest, they don't really help all that much either. The biggest problem now is not preventing one of the kids from killing a plant before it gets into the ground, but rather preventing one of them from smacking the other in the head with a shovel (accidentally of course).

Vanishing Point

2006-05-22T15:05:00.002-04:00

Sometimes hotels are just too darn big.

Camera: Nikon D70

Once in a Blue Moon

2006-05-15T11:08:00.002-04:00

This is a series of pictures I took during the Great Lunar Eclipse of '04. The moon gets more orange than blue during totality, so I suppose I should have used a different title for this post. Anyway, the pictures that make up this composition were taken over a span of about two hours and then stitched together. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to spend that whole time outside manning the camera. I would run outside, take a picture, then run back inside and have a snack. Run outside, take another picture, then run back inside and have a drink. Run outside, take another picture, then run back inside a watch some TV. Lather, rinse, repeat.

(This is a wide picture, so you may have to scroll to the right to see the whole thing.)

Camera: Nikon D70
Location:

Wabbit Season, Duck Season, Baseball Season

2006-05-01T11:10:00.002-04:00

Today, my boy is a man. He has played his first baseball game. Good ol' number 10.

Okay, so he's only 6 years old and it's only T-ball, but it's a start. For those unfamiliar with T-ball, let me give you the executive summary. Instead of hitting a ball from a pitcher, you hit a stationary ball off a tee. Instead of being called out when the ball beats you to first base, you always get there safely. Instead of changing sides when there are three outs, the whole team gets to bat in each inning. (I guess that is a corollary to the "everybody gets to first safely" rule.) Instead of the game ending after a certain number of innings, it ends when it is too dark and/or cold to play, or when the parents start to complain too vociferously^*.

Most parents on Long Island want their children to grow up to be doctuhs and loiyuhs. I know it's a long shot, but it would be kind of cool if my son became a baseball player. He says "astronaut" now, but I have some time to work on him.

^*Jackie's favorite word

Camera: Nikon D70s

Arbor Day Revisited

2006-04-17T10:13:00.002-04:00

Some people have inquired why I did not have a picture of a tree accompanying my Arbor Day entry. That was intentional. Maybe some people don't "get" my subtle humor. Maybe some people don't think my subtle humor is funny. Maybe some people think that I am funny looking and a bad poker player. My response to any of the above is "tough toenails".

To quell the uproar (yes, based on my average traffic, I consider one reply to be an uproar), here's your damn tree picture -- or at least the shadow of one.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: San Diego, CA

Arbor Day

2006-04-11T11:07:00.002-04:00

No, don't check your calendars. You haven't missed Arbor Day and you still have time to go shopping for the big Arbor Day party. It's still a few weeks away -- Arbor Day is April 28th this year. You all know what Arbor Day is, don't you? Of course -- that's when all the ships come sailing into the arbor!^* Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

^* I stole this from "It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown", so blame Charles Schultz if you didn't like the joke.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: Deerfield Beach, FL

Baking is Fun

2006-04-03T11:21:00.002-04:00

... or very messy, depending on your point of view. From the parent's perspective, it is definitely the latter, although I am torn between wanting to let my kids enjoy themselves in the kitchen and have fun while creating good things to eat, and not wanting my kitchen to look like a disaster area. When it's time to clean up, the children, for some reason, are nowhere to be found (which is probably a good thing, since things often look worse after the children clean them).

The above was the aftermath of a brownie-baking session. The kids aren't getting any neater, but they are starting to learn what they can and cannot put in their mouths. Sugar - good. Salt - good. Flour - not so good. Cocoa powder - blech.

Mispelling

2006-03-27T10:38:00.002-05:00

This is a departure from the normal theme of this blog. All posts to-date have been based on pictures where I am proud of the photo itself, the subject matter, or both. Today, I just wanted share this little nugget of irony. This is one of my son's first-grade spelling tests. There is one word on this test that is spelled incorrectly. But fortunately (or unfortunately?), that word was not written by my son. What's next -- a history test that asks what color George Washington's white horse was and the answer is brown?

How Do I Hate Thee?

2006-03-20T10:50:00.002-05:00

What? A picture of Mickey Mouse and the word "hate" in same entry? Well, it's not me. I personally have no strong feelings for or against The Mouse, but I stumbled across this blog written by a group of Disney Imagineers. For the uninitiated, the Imagineers are the people who create all of the cool stuff in the Disney theme parks -- everything from the designs of the parks themselves to the dirty details of the individual attractions. The blog is kind of an ongoing rant about how the parks have gone to pot in recent years. They write about the grand vision of Walt Disney (the man, not the empire) and the original Imagineers and how the parks originally served to transport visitors to different places and times. But now, all development in the parks is driven by marketing concerns and judged by how it affects the "bottom line".

I can definitely identify with many of their sentiments and I understand their positions. This is a group of people who are so passionate about their work that they would rather fight to make things better than just quit and find another job where they might feel more appreciated.

The description of the blog:
A forum for Pixar and Disney professionals passionate about the Disney Theme Parks to catalog past Imagineering missteps and offer tenable practical solutions in hopes that a new wave of creative management at Imagineering can restore some of the wonder and magic that's been missing from the parks for decades.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: MGM Studios, Orlando, FL

For the Birds

2006-03-13T11:16:00.002-05:00

When I eventually get a pet, it will be a dog. I don't think any other animal is suitable. Turtles are boring. Fish are slimy. Lizards are icky. Guinea pigs are too prolific. And cats are just frakkin' annoying.

Unfortunately, birds aren't much better.

Camera: Nikon D1H
Location: Palm Beach, FL

Show Me the Money

2006-03-07T11:32:00.002-05:00

I had to knuckle under and actually buy a camera! Can you believe it? After working for Nikon for 10 years and having instant (not to mention free) access to all kinds of cameras and cool related doodads, those bastards are actually making me buy a camera. I'm not in a particularly vindictive mood today, so I won't lament the stupidity, stinginess, or short-sightedness of not providing camera equipment to people who write software for those cameras.

They gave me a taste of the equipment that can produce pictures like these, and then they snatched it away and made me fork over the cash. They're like photographic heroin dealers. At least the shakes have gone away.

Camera: Nikon D2H
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL

They'll Come Back to Haunt You

2006-02-27T15:13:00.002-05:00

Contrary to the old cliche, I don't think that there are any pictures of me naked on a bearskin rug. (Well, not any as a baby anyway.) Nevertheless, there are plenty of pictures capable of causing some embarrassment. These are precisely the pictures that my mother would pull out whenever I brought a new girlfriend home.

Well I'm the parent now and it is my parental responsibility to prepare and maintain a cache of
embarrassing photos. When my boys start dating (or possibly when either of them runs for public office), I want to have a nice arsenal at the ready. When I am old and feeble (that is, older and feebler than I am today), I am going to need a lot of material to make sure the boys do right by me and the Mrs.

Evolution

2006-02-21T11:36:00.002-05:00

I know there are some people who don't agree that the theory of evolution goes a long way toward explaining how humans arrived in the year 2006. I don't want to be rude about it, well, actually, it's my blog so I can be as rude as I want. You're all a bunch of friggin' idiots. There. I feel better now.

(For the sake of completeness, the above referenced situation in Pennsylvania has since been resolved and the idiots have been deposed. Personally, I'm going to be a Pastafarian.)

I sometimes wonder how evolution can explain certain things -- like this flower for example. What kinds of evolutionary forces would cause a plant to produce a flower that looks like a bird? Most plants need to be pollinated by insects, and if I am not mistaken, most insects crawl/run/fly in the opposite direction when they see a bird. On the surface, that would seem to be bad for "perpetuating the species". Maybe somebody can enlighten me.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL

Old Meets New

2006-02-13T15:27:00.002-05:00

No, this is not one of those digitally-created masterpieces. This picture is "as-shot" with no Photoshopping. Well, maybe a little Photoshopping for esthetics, but nothing important, I promise. I just liked the ridiculous juxtaposition of the old and new. The new is a big ugly jet. The old is the top third of The California Building (also called the California Tower?) in San Diego.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: San Diego, CA

Popeye the Sailor Man, Sitting in a Tree...

2006-02-06T10:52:00.002-05:00

There are three phases in the life of a human male. First, there is the "girls are okay" phase, followed by the "girls are icky" phase, followed by a second (and more emphatic) "girls are okay" phase. There are very fine lines that separate each of these phases, and it's pretty hard to pin down exactly when the transition from one to the next takes place.

If I show this picture to my son now, he is likely to say something like, "That's nice," or more likely, "That's nice, can I play my Star Wars game now?" If I show this picture to my son in a few years, I imagine that I would get something more along the lines of, "Daaaaad, put that picture away!". A few years after that, firmly entrenched in phase III, I would expect something like, "Hey, check me out. I was quite the player when I was 5, wasn't I?"

The World is a Steak

2006-01-30T10:04:00.002-05:00

I think one of the reasons I like sunrises so much is that I see them so seldom. With all of the cloudy days in New York and the fact that I sleep through most of them, catching a great sunrise becomes a special experience. It's the same reason I like a good steak. Um, except for the fact that I eat steak all of the time and you can't put Peter Luger Steak Sauce on a sunrise. Other than that, it's exactly the same.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: San Diego, CA

A Little Critter in a Big World

2006-01-24T11:23:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I feel like this little guy. I start wondering what kind of lasting impression I could possibly make in "The Grand Scheme of Things". Then the feeling passes and I go eat a steak. That's something a 4-inch lizard can't do.

Update:
Last week, I was complaining about the use of scientific names that non-scientific people can't really relate to. Apparently, there have been some efforts to make scientific names a little more friendly to the masses. This Popular Science article from their October, 2005 issue mentioned that some scientists were incorporating the names of public figures into the names of newly-discovered species. My favorite was the Beetle which is named "A. vaderi" (after Darth Vader). We're not there yet, but it's a start.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL

Yawnius Maximus

2006-01-16T11:18:00.002-05:00

I don't know why those "science types" insist on giving things scientific names that are incomprehensible (not to mention unpronounceable) to the general public. The Latin name of the beast that they boys are studying here is "Mammuthus primigenius", or some such nonsense. If you want kids to be interested in science throughout their lives, try making science at least a little interesting and fun. Compare the number of "Mammuthus primigenius" action figures an average first-grader owns to the number of T-Rexes he has. T-Rex has a much cooler name, a better reputation, and much more public exposure. In short, T-Rex had a much better PR company.

Unless you are giving the technical names for Wile E. Coyote and The Roadrunner (which are Apetitius Giganticus and Tastyus Supersonicus, respectively), leave the Latin for the people going for their Ph.D in Ancient Roman History.

Camera: Nikon D70
Location: Museum of Natural History, New York City

Pining for Summertime

2006-01-09T11:19:00.002-05:00

I hate the Winter. I hate everything about it. I hate having to wear a sweatshirt everywhere I go because I am always cold. I hate shoveling snow. I hate playing in the snow with my kids. (The playing part is okay, but it's the fingers-turning-blue part that is hard to take.) I hate having a bowl of soup, a cup of tea, and a cup of hot chocolate and still not being able to warm up. I hate that it gets dark at 5PM. I hate trying to scrape ice off my windshield before I go to work in the morning, but not being able to really get it all off and not having the time to let my car's defroster warm up for ten minutes before I leave. I hate not getting up ten minutes earlier to let my car warm up. (Okay, that one is not really Winter's fault, it's mine, but I'm on a roll.) I hate the strange looks people give me when they see me with my hands in my sleeves, in my shirt, or down my pants. I'm just trying to warm them up. Really.

Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky, but I don't have any complaints about the Summer. Well, that's not exactly true. Each summer, I hate how my house always winds up with a bee or hornet nest in or on it. Other than that, Summer is okay by me.

This is a picture of the shadow of a Summer tree cast by a hot Summer sun. You can even see the warm Summer breeze blowing by if you look closely. My hands are getting warmer already...

Camera: Nikon D2H
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL

Am I the father of Linus Van Pelt?

2006-01-04T11:22:00.002-05:00

Okay -- go ahead and tell me that Luke does not look like Linus from Peanuts in this picture. Go ahead. I dare you. Well, I don't really care what you say because it's my blog. I don't have to listen to any dissenting opinions. Imagine me sticking my virtual fingers in my virtual ears and saying, "La la la, I can't hear you."

(Luke doesn't suck his thumb like Linus does, but he does have a blue blanket that he drags around the house.)